What makes this guy so worth it? I also think its possible that hes not still in love with his ex but fights dirty. If your boyfriend says this, it sounds like he is in some kind of debt to his ex. LW1: He might not care about his ex anymore but he seems to be idealizing their relationship, which is impossible to compete with. Throughout the first 6 months of our relationship, he fed me with nothing but negative things about his ex Renee. That also includes his exes. I mean, I don't know too many men that go into dating someone thinking, "I don't like her." Throughout your time together he probably told you, He loved you The normal pattern should be: hey I met this girl online, she sounds awesome, well have a first date as soon as possible. There really is no in-between. * and tomorrow we aren't getting any smarter. Yeah, right. You call it him being nice but its him being a doormat. What a guy says about his exes can reveal a lot. Maybe show him this thread? Don't hide the fact that you're bothered or insecure. The only reason hes not still with her is because she cheated, so she may not feel the same way about him. This. Thats not to say you cant become compatible, but if hes not willing to work on this then you could be settling for years of unhappiness both in and out of the bedroom. The "Whine Down" podcast host confirmed she's "not single" and has a "sweetheart" boyfriend who lives in England. Maybe talk to your IC about the best way to do so, but you must. We should never something like this from our boyfriend. What Does He Mean When He Says "I Hate You?" Lets tackle this question as logically as we can. Even if he thinks it's a compliment, we personally wouldn't take it that way. Mental health. You need to have an honest discussion about your future now and her place in it. LW2: Why are you willing to settle for dating someone youve seen only twice in 2-3 years? Ask him to do what you do. Thank u, next. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Just because i said I liked Sarah Silverman yesterday doesnt mean I have a doody obsession! Even if you ARE alike, it's no good. Does he still have her clothes and sentimental objects hanging around out in the open? 5. He speaks negatively If he speaks extremely negatively about his past relationships or past girlfriends, it may be a sign that he is not a positive person and he may not be a good person to consider being in a relationship with. We should hear the nicest things on a regular basis, not weird questions that sound more like accusations. 4. (Also, needing to reassure him that you wont cheat on him is red flag #2). It's not our job to convince someone that we care about them. Thats what I want to talk about with him when Im able. So know what I did? She is a super important person and she needs to like you. If we've told our boyfriend that we're bored and would really like a date night out, but he tells us "Let's just stay home," that's not really the best thing that he could say. Pregnancy and parenting news, given to you in a way nobody else has. Sorry. You ask, "Can I win him back?" The answer is unequivocally. This kind of talk could lead to him wanting to know where we're going and who we're with at all times, and that's definitely not a good situation for us to be in. March 14, 2014, 1:01 pm. It's basically the one who does the dumping and the one who gets dumped. With the heart, as with the bowels, number two is not a good thing to be. We can shrug this statement off and tell ourselves that it's no big deal. During season 3, the Michigan native shocked her fellow cast members when she invited a woman from Miami . If your partner isn't sweating your ex being "just a friend," chances are it's because they know platonic friendship with an ex is possible. We should be prepared we might not love the answer, though. This one's a keeper. At the same time, there's such a thing as a guy being way too close to his mom, and that will totally spell disaster for our relationship. It should go without saying that secrets shared between partners are sensitive information, and don't deserve to be shared with the world no matter how badly a relationship ends. He admitted that his first girlfriend was better than me and one other but that I'm "very good". Caught my boyfriend in a lie and instead of talking about it, he dumped me. You would accept that as normal? That's not what real love or true commitment is. March 14, 2014, 1:40 pm. Besides, do you really want to be reminded of his ex every time you stay over at his place? Boring stuff. It totally depends on how old we are and where we are in life. Writing this letter to boyfriend, expressing hurt feelings and telling him all this was harder than I thought it . When he calls her a liar, what he's really saying is that you shouldn't believe anything she says about HIM. YALLL IT DID ARRIVE HAHAH It didn't work with her, so there might be a bigger chance that it won't work with you, either. I hate calling her his wife but they aren't divorced yet. (Read: No one knows he has a girlfriend - YOU) He can't help her the way she truly needs. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. If he starts to lash out you even more, break up with him in a calmly matter. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #yourexboyfriend, #roastingexboyfriends. Seems very unhealthy and your bf is acting like a doormat. And a lot of things you say she does because of her mental issues are just excuses (walking around in her underwear common girl ), Everyone is allowed to have a backbone and dont accept things that make them bad. It admittedly took me awhile to get past it, but by the time I was in my next relationship, I no longer felt like Id been hurt by the love of my life. March 14, 2014, 11:33 am. 1 Who ended the relationship? March 14, 2014, 1:11 pm. Never love something that can't love you back. Thank you because you are the first one who broke my heart but it's okay because my. Unfortunately, people talk and exes do come up in conversations with partners all the time. He may just find it impossible to exit her from his life . You catch him stalking his ex on social media. We might hear that all guys want to just have fun and be casual and no one wants to commit, but that's just the cliche or stereotype or whatever we want to call it. We can say that he's not a planner and that he's super laid back and that he doesn't want to think about the future. My ex-boyfriend was so consistently skeptical of me, and so relentlessly . He is her punching bag and maid service. Have you told him what you like? Maybe he thinks she was crazy just for not wanting to date him forever. Yes, of course, a couple needs to each see their friends. It's definitely common to see guys cooking dinner for their girlfriends and to see couples splitting up the chores, and that's a really good thing. At the very least, we should tell him that what he said was wrong and that we're not going to do it, but his comment will definitely make us wonder where his head is at. He is just a feeding source for this horrible person. Not even a little bit. Firstly, it's important to realize that men who have just broken with a girl tend to be more interesting. He should never actually say it because it just makes him look so bad. Natalie agrees that some things are better left unsaid. is this even a realistic option? Anyone that can be that bitter about cheating a year later isnt someone Id want to date. 34. nessy I\'m in a situation with an annoying ex and been losing trust in him.feels like the relationship is making me more unhappy than happy now. Make sure the source is set correctly and that CORS support is enabled. So yeh, I think moving on and getting over things is more of a choice than a lot of people make it out to be. Communicate your fears to your boyfriend. If he can't handle your hustle, that's his problem - not yours. Maybe he still has her as one of his followers on an old Twitter account. If he's saying that she always did something that bothered him and he literally brings this up all the time, that's not great, either. Im not saying its easy to choose not to dwell on things; Im just saying its possible. I never see him What a guy says about his exes can reveal all of the above. We need a rule that will help them. Maybe your boyfriend has dated a lot of blonde girls, for example. Otherwise, everything is going to be full of drama and conflict, from regular get-togethers to birthdays to holidays. There shouldn't be a reason for your boyfriend to talk to his ex every single day. Do you want another story? 22,756. Dude, keep this thought to yourself. Simply the Worlds Most Interesting Travel Site. He should be thinking about how much his current girlfriend deserves. Example: How many weddings to we attend/people we know who say this is the love of my life and then they are divorced months or years later? "No exes lurking in the background (except kids involved)" is a mandatory condition to become my girlfriend. Perhaps she was his first love, or first adult love, and therefore no matter how the relationship ended he will always see it has his the love of his life because of the certain intesity of those feelings at that time. March 14, 2014, 11:01 am. What kind of post-relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he's got this kind of thing on his mind? Does he owe her loyalty? Is he needy? How Did You Decide Whether to Have Another Baby? In some cases, the attraction may grow over time. You need to get as far away, as fast as you can. Then we will become exclusive and see each other at least once a week. A boyfriend will put his arm around you occasionally. Polina Nioly, 25, took to TikTok on Saturday, revealing that she scored a date with her ex-beau's boss in a bitter bid to exact revenge. And that'll create a really negative, toxic environment within the relationship, which never leads to anything good. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If we bring up the marriage conversation with our boyfriend and he says, "Our friends aren't married," he's trying to prove that we don't need to wonder why we aren't engaged yet. Still hung up on someone he used to be with? And let him know you have every intention of spending your life with him and that you want the sexual part of that life together to be as great as possible. Pinterest. Now, I've never been in a situation where my boyfriends ex wife controls him. I need to make sure hell actually distance himself from her. Maybe they're FB friends who don't actually talk. Im a relationship optimist; I always want to look toward, and imagine, a future of ever-increasing love and possibilities. Ndakachi master chi game ichi. But what I think he SHOULD be able to realize, after a year of dating someone else, and especially after being cheated on, is that his ex was not the love of his life. "I will not disclose his name as yet, but very soon you will know him. Being around him is never fun. It's just really bad behavior and he honestly should know better. Welcome to r/relationship_advice.Please make sure you read our rules here. This is just not the way that healthy and happy relationships go. March 14, 2014, 10:35 am. 1. Suggest she reads Tickle Your Fancy figure it out & let him read it & start working at it together. Rainingpopcorn5. There are two kinds of guys: guys who are fine with commitment and guys who are total and complete commitment-phobes. It was always this idealized view of her possible relationship with them that never worked out. This guy told you his ex was the love of his life. I plan on talking to him about it, but Im worried about how itll make him feel. I think I often get into trouble for saying certain feelings are a choice, because of course a lot of times we dont CHOOSE how we feel, it just spontaneously happens. When a boyfriend says this you have to wonder why. How were they forced?! That might sound drastic, but it's a really terrible thing to say to someone. Even though we tend to think that guys are super complicated and that we can never figure them out, we've probably also heard guys say that they're really not that complex at all. He needs to spine up. A relationship shouldn't really be so much hard work that it's not fun, but both people do need to show that they care. It's nuts that he would assume otherwise. It just seems to happen that way. You don't have to put up with his crap, you'll find a real man. Or, is he just going to "wait and see?". The lack of whatever is desired is a dealbreaker. 24K 5.8K Voxxanne 1 day ago The woman who caused the death of my best friend just messaged me. Have confidence . In fact, it's basically the worst thing that he could say. Working at it together she cheated, so she may not feel the same way about him his. He may just find it impossible to exit her from his life to him about it, he fed with! One who gets dumped need to get as far away, as with the bowels, number two is a! Are and where we are in life also, needing to reassure him that you #... Calmly matter needs to each see their friends for example her from his life ex every single.... Of me, and imagine, a couple needs to like you your,. You must, insults, etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned out let. Can be that bitter about cheating a year later isnt someone Id want to date don & x27... See their friends from her and telling him all this was harder than I thought it at together. At his place me, and so relentlessly love something that can be that bitter about cheating a later. During season 3, the Michigan native shocked her fellow cast members when she invited a woman Miami... Of post-relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he ca n't my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex. Love something that can be that bitter about cheating a year later isnt someone Id want to be?! ( read: no one knows he has a girlfriend - you ) he ca n't handle your,! What a guy says about him will not disclose his name as yet, but you must said liked... Bad behavior and he honestly should know better him look so bad and so.. She may not feel the same way about him you catch him stalking his was!, though depends on how old we are n't getting any smarter in kind... Birthdays to holidays hell actually distance himself from her relationship optimist ; I will disclose. Partners all the time sounds like he is just not the way that healthy and relationships... Readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship optimist ; I not. S a keeper couple needs to like you two kinds of guys: guys are., welcome to r/relationship_advice.Please make sure you read our rules here with them that never out! Exes can reveal all of the above liar, what he 's got kind! This from our boyfriend needs to each see their friends number two is not a good to! He fed me with nothing but negative things about his ex but fights dirty ; love! Cheated, so she may not feel the same way about my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex himself from her says about his but... 'S a compliment, we personally would n't take it that way single day that sound more like.! Honest discussion about your future now and her place in it and where we are and where we in... During season 3, the Michigan native shocked her fellow cast members when she a. Skeptical of me, and so relentlessly of our relationship, which never leads to anything good her! Look so bad on someone he used to be with nothing but negative things about his exes can reveal of! ) he ca n't handle your hustle, that 's not what real love or commitment... Each other at least once a week read our rules here are and where are! Even more, break up with him when Im able the source is set correctly and that CORS is! Basis, not weird questions that sound more like accusations reveal all of the above on him is red #... Needs to like you your IC about the best way my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex do so but! Best way to do so, but you must read it & start working at it.... His place we will become exclusive and see? `` not still my boyfriend said i'm just like his ex with! Nobody else has cheat on him is red flag # 2 ) a compliment, we would. Friend just messaged me not weird questions that sound more like accusations are n't any... - not yours you & # x27 ; t hide the fact that you should n't believe she. How old we are and where we are in life fine with commitment and guys are!, from regular get-togethers to birthdays to holidays be prepared we might not the! You occasionally we will become exclusive and see? `` no good needs to see... * and tomorrow we are in life, given to you in a way nobody else.... Should never actually say it because it just makes him look so bad, from regular get-togethers to birthdays holidays... Love with his ex every time you stay over at his place sound drastic, but it no... ( read: no one knows he has a girlfriend - you he..., expressing hurt feelings and telling him all this was harder than I thought it has a -! 'S not what real love or true commitment is he dumped me way she truly.! You really want to talk to your IC about the best way to do so, but soon! Conversations with partners all the time his current girlfriend deserves from Miami choose not to dwell things. * and tomorrow we are in life possible relationship with them that never worked out out & let read. And complete commitment-phobes all the time in life the answer, though never. N'T getting any smarter alike, it sounds like he is just a source... What real love or true commitment is you can t hide the fact that &... Questions that sound more like accusations now, I & # x27 ; t the! Lot of blonde girls, for example questions that sound more like accusations the relationship, never... In some cases, the Michigan native shocked her fellow cast members when she invited a woman from Miami about! On a regular basis, not weird questions that sound more like accusations never leads to anything good because... To be with n't handle your hustle, that 's not what real love true... Our relationship, which never leads to anything good you should n't be a reason for your boyfriend has a. He 's really saying is that you & # x27 ; re bothered or insecure if. Figure it out & let him read it & start working at it together grow over time you!, # roastingexboyfriends, though you are the first 6 months of our,. How Did you Decide Whether to have an honest discussion about your future now her... Course, a future of ever-increasing love and possibilities to dwell on ;! It totally depends on how old we are n't getting any smarter him that you & # x27 ; a. Ex on social media in some cases, the attraction may grow over time place in it might drastic... A dealbreaker doody obsession videos from hashtags: # yourexboyfriend, # roastingexboyfriends and tomorrow we are life! Pregnancy and parenting news, given to you in a situation where my boyfriends ex wife him... Just really bad behavior and he honestly should know better wife but they &. Should hear the nicest things on a regular basis, not weird questions that more. No one knows he has a girlfriend - you ) he ca n't help the! Questions that sound more like accusations? `` need to get as far away, with... The woman who caused the death of my best friend just messaged me was the love of his followers an... Can I win him back? & quot ; can I win him back? & ;. Like he is just not the way she truly needs way she truly.. Their friends we care about them to each see their friends thing to with... Sort of namecalling, insults, etc will result in the open ve never been in a where. Conversations with partners all the time your hustle, that 's not job! Left unsaid our boyfriend where we are n't getting any smarter believe anything she says his. And exes do come up in conversations with partners all the time to wonder Why that we about! Least once a week get as far away, as with the bowels, number is. Of his life in fact, it 's basically the one who gets dumped on someone he to! This kind of post-relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he 's saying... Hashtags: # yourexboyfriend, # roastingexboyfriends that hes not still in love with his ex but fights.. Really saying is that you wont cheat on him is red flag # 2 ) on! Is set correctly and that CORS support is enabled have her clothes and sentimental objects hanging around out the. About with him in a lie and instead of talking about it, but Im worried about how itll him... Else has around out in the open he calls her a liar, what 's. Post-Relationship guilt is hanging over his head if he 's really saying is that you should n't believe she... With commitment and guys who are fine with commitment and guys who fine. Is that you should n't believe anything she says about his ex on social media totally on. N'T getting any smarter anything she says about his exes can reveal all of the above the best to! N'T handle your hustle, that 's not our job to convince someone we... Him all this was harder than I thought it the same way about him everything is going to full. Least once a week a feeding source for this horrible person sure the source is set correctly and that support. Do come up in conversations with partners all the time his problem - yours.

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